[Here, we will be bringing you a light-hearted, and at times, serious look at life under Steve Bruce at Aston Villa. Expect rants, poor humour & the article being ‘there or thereabouts’ to your liking!]
Another game. Another week under Aston Villa’s so-called ‘promotion expert’ Steve Bruce. Over the weekend, Villa suffered a 2-1 home defeat to Sheffield Wednesday in Bruce’s 100th game in charge.
Despite boasting one of the best squads in the division and being at the helm since October 2016. Bruce asked for more time after the match. In all honesty, it was pretty hard to work out what he wanted more time on?
Peeling potatoes? More time on working out which other players he can play out of position? More time on preparing a video for the Wolves players warning them about the winter ahead?
Seriously, the levels of excuses Bruce is coming up with now is beyond embarrassing. From, ‘We were 90 minutes away’ to ‘It has been a turbulent summer.’ Troubled summer, eh?! Yet Grealish is still here. Chester is still here. Three PL quality players added. A winger from Lille. Goalkeepers from Germany & Atletico Madrid. And a £6m signing. Sit down, you fool!
Where does the furniture go?
If you didn’t already know, Steve likes to play players out of position. From playing CDM’s at CB to putting two RB’s at LB & RW, respectively. It got me thinking. What does Bruce do at home? Is the TV in the bathroom? Is the cooker in the front room? Are his sofas in the bedroom? It wouldn’t surprise me if they were. Once again, Bruce opted to play Mile Jedinak at CB. The results so far? 14 goals conceded from nine matches & only one clean sheet to the name. This despite having a Manchester United youngster on the bench.
I’ll have two from the top, please Carol
In terms of attacking power, Bruce has arguably the best strike force in the Championship. Tammy Abraham, Jonathan Kodjia & Scott Hogan are PROVEN goalscorers in this division. Out wide, he has Albert Adomah, Yannick Bolasie & Anwar El Gazi. In the middle of the park, he has Conor Hourihane, John McGinn, Birkir Bjarnason, Henri Lansbury, Glenn Whelan, Mile Jedinak and Jack Grealish. Yet, this so called-promotion expert has struggled to play two up top ever since he walked through the doors. The quality is there. The depth in quality is there. Unfortunately, like Mario Balotelli trying to work out the difference between a vowel and a consonant on Countdown, there are no brains behind the operation.
100 Not Out… just
As mentioned before, Bruce brought up his hundred over the weekend and with it came his usual tripe. During those encounters, the former Manchester United player has won 46 games, lost 31 and drawn 23. After the win against Rotherham last Tuesday, Bruce stated that his ‘win percentage’ as Villa manager is ‘far above’ those before him. THAT’S BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN MANAGING IN THE F***ING CHAMPIONSHIP. At this moment, Villa sit in the bottom half of the Championship, only four points off 19th-place Rotherham. Truthfully, Villa are heading in one direction under this type of coaching and it’s not to promotion. I’d rather Villa replace Bruce with a prostitute from Amsterdam. She maybe talentless like Bruce, but at least she’ll be entertaining.