‘Home banker’ – Peter Crouch’s Barcelona and Arsenal claims are damning indictment of Stoke City fall

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The phrase “can they do it on a cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke?” feels as though it has lost its meaning for Stoke City in recent years.

Stoke City were a staple of the Premier League under the likes of Tony Pulis and Mark Hughes, as a side built on physicality and set-pieces but with a little bit of flair at the top end of the pitch. Now? It’s a very different story.

Position	Team	Played MP	Won W	Drawn D	Lost L	For GF	Against GA	Diff GD	Points Pts
17	PortsmouthPortsmouth	38	11	9	18	46	61	-15	42
18	Oxford UnitedOxford United	38	10	12	16	39	55	-16	42
19	Hull CityHull City	38	10	11	17	39	47	-8	41
20	Stoke CityStoke City	38	9	12	17	37	51	-14	39
21	CardiffCardiff	38	9	12	17	42	62	-20	39
22	DerbyDerby	38	10	8	20	40	51	-11	38
23	LutonLuton	38	9	8	21	34	60	-26	35

There are many infamous phrases in football but has there ever been one that caught on quite like the sayings of, “Can they do it on a cold, rainy night in Stoke?”

That phrase is a far cry from those tags these days. Heading into the current international break, Stoke are in 20th place, just outside of the Championship drop zone, having played at this level for the last seven seasons finishing between 14th and 17th each time. But, they are in real danger of dropping even further.

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Peter Crouch’s comments feel like a distant memory for Stoke City supporters

Peter Crouch once claimed Stoke City could have turned Barcelona over during his time at the club, making it “horrendous” for teams back then at what was then called The Britannia Stadium. But, that magic has left them, and it serves as a reminder of how quickly things can change in football.

Back in 2022, Crouch said to TNT Sports: “At that time, we were the only team who could have beaten Barcelona. [Lionel] Messi and [Andres] Iniesta came to Britannia at that time, I reckon we could have turned them over because we made it horrendous for teams.

“I bought into it [Stoke’s style] straight away. When I arrived there, there were lots of players playing above themselves. But the attitude, the camaraderie and the group that he’d [Tony Pulis] built, it was amazing.

“It was one of the best dressing rooms I’d ever been part of. You just knew that you were going into battle every day and you were going to get a result because of the work rate, the attitude, the endeavour, the dedication — it was a great dressing room.

He added: “Arsenal was our home banker, we made things difficult. I remember we trained in the middle of the pitch before we played Arsenal, just to cut it all up and they couldn’t play.

“The grass had grown longer, I remember looking at Aaron Ramsey and he couldn’t see his boot. He was like ‘Crouchy?’, and I went ‘This is what we do’.

“My best line of all time for me and it’s one of the best lines I’ve heard in football was when he [Pulis], said: ‘don’t get ahead of yourselves lads, you’re bang average players in a fantastic system.’ Well, you can’t argue with that.”

What Stoke fans would give to be a ‘bang average’ Premier League side right now…

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Mark Robins could be a Tony Pulis-like figure at Stoke City — if he is given the time

There are some signs of life at Stoke City — through stunning Lewis Baker goals and crucial wins against Blackburn Rovers and the like — under Mark Robins’ tutelage, with the ex-Coventry City boss perhaps the manager most akin to Pulis since he left the Potters in 2013.

That’s not necessarily a comparison in terms of playing style, but their overall demeanor and how they carry themselves in the media; both are the kind of man you want at the helm when leading your football club.

It may very well require a rebuild over the summer, which is something Robins is accustomed to, having done so numerous times with various squads and cycles with Coventry; which is why Stoke fans should be desperate to survive in order for Robins to turn things around.

Robins will demand changes at Stoke over the coming years and hope to emulate the good work he did at Coventry and also the excellent job of Pulis with Crouch and co. at the club. For now, they must ensure survival in the last weeks of the season with vital fixtures on the horizon.

If and when survival is obtained, Robins has a massive job on their hands to turn things around this summer, with eight players currently out of contract, but also five loan players returning to their parent clubs; but there’s no better man to do so.

In order to survive, they must try and recapture some of the magic at home. Only four teams have taken fewer points from their home games than the Potters this season. Their feeble 26 points haul from 19 games highlights their demise after they were once giant-killers in the top flight with Pulis and Crouch.